A box,
secured with lace
and locks
contains
small suns for days
it rains;
soft moons
to guide her through
night’s dunes.
Ryan Stone
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A box,
secured with lace
and locks
contains
small suns for days
it rains;
soft moons
to guide her through
night’s dunes.
Ryan Stone
The Essence of Emotions
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I like to pretend I'm more clever than I am...
Oh yay, another swoon and sigh one–you know I LOVE these!!!
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Haha, that’s why I write them π
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And now I’ve got a hot flash goin’…forget that, just keep writing…anything–but especially these. They’re too wonderful–your fan, Stella
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Too sweet π
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π π
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This is lovely Ryan π
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Thank you, Holly. I’m so happy you think so. Big smiles π
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You have a wonderful way Ryan, when I read you I am often reminded of the works of Basho. Very fine!
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Whoa! Now there’s a compliment if ever I heard one. Thank you so much for your kindness, Holly π
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Soft moons to guide her through night’s dunes! – That left me wide eyed and made my jaw drop! I have very rarely read lines that capture this kind of beauty in them! And the few times I’ve read something like this, has been on your blog π
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Aishwarya, you are incredibly sweet and far kinder to me than I deserve…but I thank you truly, humbly & sincerely. It is feedback like yours that encourages me to keep writing π
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Well, inspired by your poetry, I decided to put up some of mine…in Urdu (I have also put up translations but in English, they don’t sound half as beautiful as they do in Urdu!)…I’d love to know you what you think of those π Cheers!
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Such a compliment, Aishwarya. I’m flattered and I’m looking forward to having a read. Thank you π
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A box each we both got
yours lacy, mine stony
Shy sundrops you caught
Mine has hearts tiny
Many moons to guide you
Through rough lost nights
No suns, no moons on cue
For me, yet dark delights
Just inspired by your lovely piece, Ryan! You do this to me often.
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Beautiful, Nandita! Your writing is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing it here-I’m flattered to have helped inspire such writing π
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so nice written,its amazing
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Far too kind, but thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts π
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Welcome Dear.
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I want to hear more of her story…when she will open that box…the visual of it opening in the desert. Aah, so lovely, Ryan. A tease, this one. β€
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And yet the enigma is so enticing…haha, I’ll see if I can come up with a sequel for you, Em…as you asked so nicely π
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oooOOooh. Thanks! ππΌβ¨
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Keeping memories tight, so tight that each and every soft spot could be exposed, could be protected.
To feel the rapid rush of first sunrise, moon-rise, first kiss, first baby.. the calm, the heat.. all senses heightened in a box of memories. yΓΉ yi…
To go back and open it in days when the sun does not rise, when the sky is moonless, when the kiss is vacant, when the baby is an angel, when the chaos ensues, when the heat lacks.
π all of these in one musette! so, how can one not love your poetry?
Dajena π
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every soft spot couldn’t be exposed**
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Yep – I think you covered everything π Haha, thank you so much Dajena. It is the ultimate flattery to have such a talented poet invest so much time and effort into reading and analyzing my words. Huge smiles down here thank you π
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Ryan,
I’m happy to read you and your afterthoughts.
Hope I did not give much way. βΊοΈ
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Perfect π
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oh. this is just… breathtaking. (I know I asked for permission and you didn’t say yes yet but yeah.. I am here! :D)
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Haha, permission granted! And thank you, Rosema π
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Yes! π You’re welcome! π
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π
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Breathtaking suggestion and invitation to imagination. Lovely minimalism at its best!
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What a nicely worded response! Thank you so much π
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I enjoyed this poem Ryan. All your poems are great. What I wanted to comment on was the wonderful short story I finished reading that you wrote. You did a fantastic job. I really enjoyed your prose and hope you do more of it. Your story was a bit long to read in one piece on an IPad but I’d say 85 percent of the time you held my attention by what was going on in the story. I do enjoy serial stories where the story ends on a twist or hook, to keep you interested for the next week or the next part. I have found in my own fiction writing, if you hook people enough and get them interested, you will develope a fan base who will read next time you post the next part for your story. I think you could have posted this in three parts and it would have been a bit better than reading it all at once. Bu that is my opinion. It was very well written and I thoroughly enjoyed the story, even though things ended badly for his friend, there was in a way, hope at the end.
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Thank you so much, Mandi. Just the type of feedback I was after. I had similar thoughts and you’ve confirmed them for me. I like the idea of releasing in parts. I’ll look at setting up a new page for stories to make that work smoothly. I really appreciate the time you’ve put into your response. Have a magic weekend π
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Thanks Ryan. I’m happy the feedback helped.
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It was spot on, thank you π
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