One drunken night, he lay on the coach road
and she lay beside him. He pictured a truck
descending–wobbling around corners,
gaining momentum. They spoke about crushes,
first kisses. He told her of an older woman
who’d stolen a thing he couldn’t replace.
He tried to describe the weight of lost things.
She listened until he stopped,
until I stopped
hiding behind he. I felt small,
watching the cosmos churn
while I lay on the coach road
one summer night,
speaking of big things
and nothing.
Ryan Stone
first published at Algebra of Owls, November 2016
Republished for dVerse poetics – Poems That Could Save Your Life – this friendship saved mine.
Powerful poem. Going from “this guy” what he’s lost, to his experiences, until he admits it’s really him, not some guy. She must have been special and great listener, for him to pour his heart out, all his secrets. And what’s between them isn’t said, but perhaps most important of all. I like the words “coach road” Too drunk to care how hard the road is? Great write Ryan.
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Hi, Amanda. Perceptive as ever! Yes, she was special in many ways. Love reading your feedback, thank you for going to such an effort 🙂
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It’s no problem Ryan. Writing is fascinating, particularly poetry, and you write excellent stuff 🙂 I love poetry that makes me think.
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😀
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ah, at last, he reveals a bit of himself, he must have finally felt safe.
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I guess he must have 😉 Thank you, Beth. I appreciate you taking the time 🙂
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Love the twist in your words always unique poems! 😉
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Carolina! How are you? Thank you, my friend 🙂
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So nice to see you here Ryan! I am ok busy doing INKTOBER 31 drawings in 31 Days Visit my Gallery ;-)https://yesterdayafter.com/my-doodlewashes/inktober-gallery/
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Wonderful! You are way too talented you know?! 🙂
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Thank you so much Ryan!
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🙂
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Such a powerful poem Ryan that exposed so much. Very poignant.
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Thank you, Miriam. Greatly appreciated, as always 🙂
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Love this. It’s so clear and true.
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Lovely feedback thank you Elizabeth. I’m glad it came across that way for you. Enjoy your weekend 🙂
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This is breathtaking, Ryan. From the exhilaration of the beginning to the slow poignancy of the ending… You’ve nailed it! I especially love the POV switch in the middle. Perfectly handled and suggests so much. Marvellous.
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How lovely you are, my dear friend. Thank you for such wonderful feedback. I hope you’ve been well 🙂
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I am about to fall asleep and I am so glad I read this poem. The image of the cosmos churning is heady and romantic. Great work, Ryan. 🙂
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You’re lovely! Thanks, Louise. Sweet dreams 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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I like the shift from ‘he’ to ‘I’ that signifies awareness and understanding, possibly coming to terms with oneself. That’s a great way of expressing a feeling you can’t describe:’He tried to describe the weight of lost things’.
Your poem left me with mixed emotions, sadness and hope.
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Thank you, Kim. There’s always hope 🙂
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Just wonderful, Ryan.
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Thank you, Sarah 🙂
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Great is the relationship when we can reveal our vulnerable selves. It is a great read!
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Thank you, Beverly 🙂
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Oh that shift.. from he to I… so abrupt, and in the end all alone.
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Glad you liked it, Bjorn. Thanks for your thoughts.
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Nothing like a friend lying on the road with you for comfort and maybe reason to get up.
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Too true. Thank you, Frank.
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Liked the words and your style. Clear and clever.
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Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave such a nice comment – truly appreciated 🙂
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Such skills ❤
Hope life is treating you well, Ryan 🙂
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Too kind, Nat. Thank you. Life is wonderful thanks. How about you? I hope you’re well. Lovely to see you here 🙂
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Sometimes we can only share our most intimate secrets when we are completely comfortable, otherwise, being naked in front of them, physically and emotionally, can be a challenge. I love the subtle way you deal with loss of innocence. Once we lose it, it’s gone. Another brilliant and profound write.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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You are most welcome! 🙂
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At last, he found someone who listened to him and someone he felt he could share his deepest thoughts with. A relief to have the weight lifted off his shoulders and perhaps, a new bond was formed. Thought-provoking and profound piece, Ryan.
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A special friendship indeed. Thanks for your lovely feedback, Eugenia. Best wishes for 2018 🙂
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I love this Ryan
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Thanks so much, Kristen. This one is very close to my heart. Glad to hear it struck a chord with you 🙂
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You’re an incredible writer 😊❤
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Thank you, SG. As are you 🙂
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Xxx Ryan 😊
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